andrewk11 (andrewk11) wrote in writing_wrkshop,

SCORPIO- second draft of synopsis

Here it is! The synopsis for my SCORPIO story! The final version will be in comic form, mind you, so the visual designs will give you the full reading experience! Enjoy!

Scorpio Story Synopsis

I chose to write a story about the Zodiac and the Scorpio sign because it intrigues me that human personalities can be explained all from simple symbols! In a world where we have to analyze people in order to get to know them, it appalled me that there is an easier way to do it, and it is more fun, because you are associating personalities with visual information that is easily identifiable. And the fact that it used to be a science once means that people actually used this system! This story itself is more of a metaphorical one- there are no “real” humans, but semi-humans with animal and misc. characteristics, making them resemble aliens. I myself am a Scorpio, and in my research I discovered that all my resources said that Scorpios are the most misunderstood, reckless, emotional, deep, profound, but can loose patience easily, so I thought that was the perfect theme for a story. And, just like all my other tales, this one is funny, touching and has heart and engaging characters, but is not void of biting commentary!

Each sign in the Zodiac is represented by a planet, and all the inhabitants of each planet have personalities just like those governed by the signs. In terms of Scorpio, they are the only beings in the universe who can reincarnate themselves, but still fear death, for it is worse to feel the pain multiple times instead of once. When they are reborn, they remember what they used to be in their past life, but do not repeat their life or become the same person over again.
Having a gray, monochromatic color scheme, along with bits of red, they are the creepiest and most morose. They are also characterized as wearing predominantly black, with their skin made of white, shell-like exoskeleton, and their face divided through the mouth, their jaw dangling like a detached jawbone on a skull. Their eyes are yellow with slits for pupils. Recently, since they are the most misunderstood sign in the Zodiac, there have been murders of Scorpios by other signs, as well as Scorpio’s unleashing their sting and killing others out of raw outrage. They are constantly trying ways to restore their name and show the other signs that they have no control over their temper if they get pushed too far.
The planet itself is completely gray, cratered, covered in deserts, no flora, and is the only satellite on the system that is irregular-shaped. The largest ocean is only about the size of the Indian Ocean, and is located at the opposite polar end of the capital city. The capital city is bustling metropolis with lots of apartments, observatories, recreational sporting centers, labs, hospitals, universities and high tech studios. Even though Scorpio provides the planets with the most up-to-date technology, they still depend on the old-fashioned chivalry of the medieval knights for their armed forces.

October 21st- Gathering of the Signs on Planet Libra
-Thalum, the Libra king is announcing the end of the Age of Libra and the beginning of Scorpio, and discusses what to do in order to prepare for it. The other signs agree. The representative for Scorpio, Vrishigam, a reclusive, dark figure, gets into a fight with Dhanus, the Sagittarius king. Loosing his temper, Vrishigam cracks out of his exoskeleton and unleashes his sting. Dhanus falls dead on the floor, with the Vrishigam now dead with him.

Sequence 1:
October 21st, one year later, first day of the Scorpio age, Planet Scorpio-
An aged Scorpio veteran in the armed forces is in the thick of fighting the Taurus battle, which has reached the downtown Scorpio capitol. They win, and he is looking forward to his retirement. Adrian, his son, has grown into a training soldier under his father’s orders.

Sequence 2:
That afternoon, the soldiers are awarded for their victory by the king of the planet Scorpio, King Sargas. But Adrian witnesses his father’s sudden death right there in the ceremony!

Sequence 3:
Sargas is in his office with Adrian about his father. We meet members of his counsel, who take a liking to Adrian. Sargas, however, has no proof of Adrian’s value without his father, and therefore, treats him like a third-rate trainee and acts harsh to him. Adrian misses his father, and worse, he must now become the captain of the armed forces, a position that he is not prepared for. The king demands he shape up, for the good of the planet, and that is what his father would have wanted.

Sequence 4:
In the king’s private quarters, a Scorpio detective named Alniyat intrudes him. She remembers the death of Dhanus, but has been summoned by her boss to get to the bottom of a new case- another Scorpio murder. There is rumor that Adrian’s father may not have been liked by all.

Sequence 5:
Adrian is alone, practicing out in the desert with his friend and “steed”, Bartholomew, worrying about how he’s going to handle being the captain. A probe crash-lands onto the ground, and he notices that there’s a young female Sagittarius inside! He puts her on Bart, and heads back to the city.

Sequence 6:
Alniyat informs several Scorpios connected to the murder. She is told by the Scorpio soothsayer and horoscope reader, the insane Dr. Opus Optus, that a Scorpio did NOT kill Adrian’s dad, because they would rather kill themselves- they are not that intense. He promises to help her with the case by analyzing the stars, trying to find some clues for her as she gathers more information. Perhaps he may find information about his dad’s previous lives…

Sequence 7:
Adrian trains his soldiers, starting out a bit rusty. He has also been making friends with the Sagittarius girl, named Ascella, and she helps him adjust. He appears to have some problems with his own patience.

Sequence 8:
In her ship, Alniyat contacts Sargas about the bad news. Alarmed and panicking, he rushes down to his counsel and tells them he needs to do everything they can to call off the war, and they need to help!

Sequence 9:
Sargas gets narrowly close to discovering Ascella when he inspects Adrian and the troops in the practice field.

Sequence 10:
Ascella tries to open Adrian up by going exploring with him. They both go out to the uncharted parts of the Scorpio planet. Getting carried away, this leads them into going back to her own planet in order to show him what they are like. He finds the Sagittarians quite nasty toward him, since they are at war. Their planet is covered in mountains and rivers and canyons, and they resemble tall, lanky, Globetrotters.

Sequence 11:
Alniyat heads to the planet Sagittarius, and hesitantly inquires about the murder, disguised as a Sagittarius. Meeting the new king, she finds out that none of the planets have a good impression on Scorpio, and that the most misunderstood planet has not been very popular for years, earning a long history of bad reputation.
The meeting with the king does not go well. Their king, Nash, who has an oily. villainistic composure, still shook up from his proceeder getting murdered, gets so mad that he declares war on Scorpio!

Sequence 12:
Adrian spends some private time with Ascella looking at the stars. He realizes he must get back to his job that he has been playing hooky over.

Sequence 13:
On their way back, with Ascella clear from his view, Sargas tells Adrian the bad news. It’s now Adrian’s turn to panic, knowing that the captain making friends with the enemy would mean his next life! Adrian privately contacts his planet’s counsel for help. Knowing that they may be disobeying the king’s orders, they like Adrian and still agree to help them …

Sequence 14:
Dr. Optus makes a discovery while researching. Quickly, he does some tests to analyze and confirm his hypothesis. He then rushes to find Alniyat.

Sequence 15:
Ascella, ashamed by the danger she put her friend through, goes to the local Scorpio church for help. But she finds the priest is a crazy pothead who wears shades and owns a moped! The priest promises not to tell anyone that a member of the enemy has somehow wound up here. He agrees to aid her in settling negotiations with the two planets by taking her on his moped to the local hospital. There, he shows her that many other signs go there to get healed, die, or be born. Scorpio is a universal gathering place for transition! If she can show them that, there may be better understanding of their differences.

Sequence 16:
Sargas leads his troops for war, seeing that Adrian has once again gone missing. When they arrive at the front, they see that the Sagittarius army has gone all out, with the dry ice, and the “We Will Rock You” song playing out from nowhere, and the expensive lighting.

Sequence 17:
Dr, Optus finds the Alniyat and tells her the discovery. Alarmed, she realizes this could mean a truce between the war and they go find Adrian.

Sequence 18:
Adrian, hating the universe more and more, grows madder and madder, and we see that he could burst any minute. He is showing the same signs as Vrishigam in the Prologue showed before he unleashed his sting. He must deal with the war himself.

Sequence 19:
More traditional basketball songs play as the battle rages on among the gray desert. Alniyat runs into Adrian and the counsel in the midst of the battle. At the same time, Ascella and the priest reach the location in his moped. Once everyone is there, Dr, Optus announces that King Nash used to be a Scorpio in his previous life! Vrishigam! He and the murderer are one and the same! In fact, all the other 11 signs had a 1/12 chance of being a Scorpio in their previous life, because Scorpios can be reborn in ANY time of the year! To top it off, he has news that Adrian’s father has been reborn into a Scorpio just days ago. But he needs to find him quick and tell him… but where is Adrian now?

Sequence 20:
Nash, too into himself to hear the news, reaches Adrian, and intimidates him the same way that Dhanus did to Vrishigam. They meet alone on a plateau. Adrian finally bursts forth his sting, and kills Nash, thereby, killing himself.

Sequence 21:
November 22nd, the end of the age of the Scorpio, first day of the age of the Sagittarius
In the Scorpio cemetery, Ascella mourns Adrian’s gravestone. But she is in for a happy surprise when the Scorpio counsel holds her a bright and cheerful surprise birthday party. And also, Adrian and his father are brought there, reincarnated as babies. She holds the baby in her arms and whispers, “I love you”.

December 1, eight days and 1 year later
As we pass by into the age of the Sagittarius, the Scorpian reputation has grown positively in the past year. King Sargas has issued a reform act, making it a rule that every black building on the planet shall be turned white, and that every aspect of the Scorpio planet should be restored into a friendlier, more open atmosphere! New technology has introduced a new chill pill! From now on, no Scorpio shall loose his or her temper unless really necessary. They have given up the chivalry of the knights to develop a new wave of modern-day armed forces, if peacetime ever ends. He himself makes a resolution to be kinder to his counsel. Negotiations with the Taurans and Sagittarians have been established.
Ascella, now the queen of her planet, visits Scorpio after over a year. Adrian is still a growing boy again, and is now too young to marry the girl he loved, but remembers how much he loved her and is fine with being her friend.
Alniyat, never actually solving the case of the mysterious murderer of Adrian’s father, has been fired, but now works with Sargas’ counsel, earning his respect.
The Sagittarians have found a new king, and a gentle one this time.
As for Dr. Optus, he and the priest head out to the Virgo planet for retirement, wearing New Orleans-type T-shirts and carrying luggage and a bucket hat, a la Fear and Loathing. The “Hail the Sunshine” portion of the “The Age of Aquarius” song is played on his radio, and it runs through until the end of the story.

The End
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